Preview: 2/1/08

Whats going to make the most money this weekend?

The super bowl of course.

Which is why you have three not-so-entertaining-looking films opening wide today. Heres three reasons to watch the super bowl on Sunday, and pregame shows on Friday and Saturday:

The Eye

I already saw this movie.... two years ago.... when it was the original from Japan. And quite frankly, this just won't cut it.

The original is a very good movie with some scary moments and a nice ending. I can only imagine what the Jessica Alba version will be like.

Lets not lie to ourselves, Alba is probably the most beautiful woman in hollywood, but can she carry a movie? She certainly couldn't carry Awake, one of the worst films of 2007. Or Good Luck Chuck, which most critics put on their bottom ten lists of 07.

As a matter of fact, what good movies has she been in?

Sin City of course, but her role was so minor, how could she screw it up?

I'm not saying these failures are all her fault, but shes so good looking that she can't help it. A producer will take any script given to him and make it for 50 million bucks at least if he knows Alba is ready to star.

Worst of all for Alba and The Eye is that the movie has already been made, and probably made much better, so there is now a standard they have to live up to that it will be judged against and more than likely it will fail miserably.

Will I see it?

OF COURSE! Just not in the theater.

I'll see it: First week on DVD

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Strange Wilderness

Take a few funny actors and give them a mediocre script and hope it all comes together with a small budget. Happens all the time, fails 95 percent of the time.

I don't expect anything less here.

Steve Zahn is sick of being the funny sidekick I guess, so he's given that role to Jonah Hill. Won't matter for Zahn though because Hill is already funnier. Except that coming off of Superbad, the funniest movie of 2007, Hill has been given high expectations but has he been given a good script or the freedom to improvise?

Heres what you need to know about the writing credits for Strange Wilderness writer/director Fred Wolf:

Without a Paddle

Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star

Joe Dirt

Dirty Work

Black Sheep

Can you see a pattern in that list? Maybe that each movie is shittier than the previous one.

From a very good start with Black Sheep (how could he fail with Farley and Spade?) to Without a Paddle, which already seemed like the prequel to this movie before I ever saw the writing credits for Wolf.

I'd be about as excited to see this script was written by DICK Wolf (Law & Order.... Come on people. Its funny.)

I'll see it: Five weeks after its out on DVD

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Over Her Dead Body

Since when is Eva Longoria (screw the Parker) a movie star? She's been in what, The Sentinal?

Sorry Flight Attendant #3 on Beverly Hills 90210 (her first credit) but you aren't ready to carry a movie.

And this certainly doesn't look like a movie you want to get your start with. Im not an agent or anything, but how about a romantic comedy starring Matthew McConaughy? Or a low budge horror? You can't just go from Desperate Housewife to movie star. As a matter of fact, it usually goes the opposite direction.

And I am so dissappointed in you Paul Rudd. We had such high hopes, lets just forget the whole thing, okay?

I'll see it: NEVER!

Review: Untraceable

So, since I did rate Untraceable as the most watchable new movie I had to go see it.

My anticipation level, as you can see in the 'preview' post, was slightly above average. It helped that I really didn't know anything about the movie going in and the trailers left a lot to the imagination.

I do like serial killer movies quite a bit and as far as that goes this was slightly above average.

The difference between this serial killer movie and many others is that you know who the killer is about 20 minutes into it. There is no "whodunit" here, just a sick game of "Can you catch me before I kill again?"

The torture scenes in this movie could rival the Saw movies in the "pain factor" although the gore is slightly less cringing. You can actually watch this movie without closing your eyes too much (if youre a girl.)

I still had to ask myself, "What, Ashley Judd turned this down?"

Honestly, this movie is much better than a Judd film, although you can see the similarities.

The only sad thing about the movie was that Diane Lane is starting to look every bit her age. They didnt try to put a lot of makeup on her since she plays a geeky FBI agent, so it showed for the first time they she is in fact 43-years-young.

Overall, minus the Lane un-sexiness factor, I give this movie a solid B-

Good work Diane, you carried a movie by yourself!

In the Works

Not many people have time or care to look at what could be in the work for their favorite actors, so every week I'd like to showcase a few talented actors/directors/whatever to just give a peek at whats coming out in the future for these people.








Will Smith:





It feels like Will Smith is in something everytime you go to the theaters, but thats really not the case. I,Robot feels like 5 years ago, but it actually came out in 2004, and since then Smith has only made Hitch, The Pursuit of Happyness, and I Am Legend. (Not counting Shark Tale.) And all three of those movies were anywhere from watchable to very good. Smith is one of the few actors who can handle being in a movie without any other name actors, Legend being the perfect example of this. So what can you expect to see him in next?





Hancock (July 2, 2008)





Smith stars as a down-on-his-luck superhero who needs to repair his image. Apparently in the world of this movie superheros are not secretive but known to the public much like in the crapfest My Super Ex-Girlfriend. Let's hope this movie is nothing like that.





In the movie Smith's public relations guy is played by Jason Bateman and Bateman's wife is played by Charlize Theron. See where this is going yet? You don't think a movie is going to have Theron and Smith in it and they don't end up together do you?





Well, thats exactly what happens.





Its hard to imagine Smith going from Legend to this, but he does like to mix in action with romantic comedies. This time he just did a romantic-comedy-action flick.





Overall, I'm not too thrilled about this one. I wouldn't mind seeing Smith as an action hero, but after My Super Ex-Girlfriend, the superhero/comedy genre is all but defunct.





Anticipation = 5/10





Seven Pounds (Dec. 12, 2008)

They've got it down to such a science that we know the release date for a movie that starts filming on March 10th. Not too shabby.

This one I don't know too much about other than Will Smith plays a guy who will "change the lives of seven people."

Okay, whatever that means.

Is it Pay it Forward 2? I think it could be better than that, but still we haven't seen much drama from him since his Six Degrees of Separation days. Only Legend of Bagger Vance, which is a sports movie, and Ali, which is a sports movie/biopic. And of course Happyness, which is his only oscar nom.

This could be number two.

My initial anticipation for this movie is pretty low, but same could have been said if you had told me the plot outline for Crash 11 months before it came out.

Woody Harrelson and Barry Pepper are currently set to co-star and I like both of them.

Anticipation: 5/10

Trial of the Chicago 7

Very little is known about this movie and the cast, including Smith, is basically all rumors.

The Chicago 7 on Wikipedia is a group of 7 people charged with inciting a riot at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. Is this a story that needs to be told? I don't know. But take a look at the rumored cast:

Smith
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Sasha Baron Cohen (Borat)
Kevin Spacey
Colin Hanks
Jeff Daniels
Taye Diggs

Can't hate on that cast. If that all holds true my anticipation goes way up, as of now, its too early to judge it.

Previews

What I think of what's coming out this week:

Untraceable

Diane Lane in 1 word?

HOT

Dont lie kids, she is smokin hot and has been since she was a teenager in The Outsiders til she was the milf in Unfaithful.

She just keeps getting better with age, but do her movies?

As much as I love the woman, I could do without most of the crap she is in. But I really don't know what to expect from Untraceable because its basically new territory for the cougar.
I know that Must Love Dogs sucked and I know that The Glass House was retarded, but for the first time she's the lead actress in a crime thriller.

What to think?

Well, I think that it will be fairly entertaining and probably overwhelmingly predictable, but overall worth my time and money this weekend.

My first guess without watching or knowing much about the movie? Colin Hanks is the killer. He needs to strip that "good boy" image afterall.

expectation level: medium

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RAMBO

This is what it has come to for Sylvester Stallone. Remaking movies of himself, starring himself, 20-30 years after they originally came out. Okay, so they aren't technically remakes, just sequels that are decades in the making. Sequels that I don't think anyone was especially asking for or needing.

Still, I'm not the type of guy who says "Hey, you can't do that" or "By doing this you are ruining the original" Do whatever you want, it doesn't mean I'll go see it.

But I do have slightly higher expecations for the new Rambo than I did the new Rocky even though the original Rocky is ten times better than the original Rambo. Confused yet? I think Sly has that affect on people.

I'm probably going to do the same thing with Rambo that I did with Rocky. Say I'll go see it in the theaters, and then put it off, and then wait for it to come out on DVD and then it will come out on DVD and then I'll put it off for a couple more weeks until there is nothing else really left to rent.

It could be worth seeing in the theaters if it were to come out the same week as say The Bucket List, but I still haven't seen There Will be Blood yet.

Expectation level: medium-low

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The Air I Breathe

This is a movie you've probably never heard of, and don't worry I only just heard about it. But a very limited release gets slightly more open this weekend after opening in New York and L.A.

A pretty loaded cast that includes Forest Whitaker, Kevin Bacon, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Brendan Fraser, Andy Garcia, and Emile Hirsch, The Air I Breathe seems to be a movie that's content won't live up to the hype the actors will bring it.

Tell me how excited this plot synopsis gets you:

"A drama based on an ancient Chinese proverb that breaks life down into four emotional cornerstones: happiness, pleasure, sorrow and love. A businessman (Whitaker) bets his life on a horse race; a gangster (Fraser) sees the future; a pop star (Gellar) falls prey to a crime boss (Garcia); a doctor (Bacon) must save the love of his life."

Sounds like a long episode of The Outer Limits or the Creepshow movie. Except with drama instead of horror.

My guess is that you'll be deeply interested in each little storyline, but how well can they be brought together and how happy will you be with the resolution (if there is any?)

I'm most interested to see the Whitaker storyline because A.) he's the best actor of the bunch and B.) you have to know that he loses that bet.

If this movie makes a wide release, it could be worth checking out in theaters. It is at the very least, a "Tuesday rental."

Expectation level: medium-to-above average

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Meet the Spartans

Meet the movie I vow never to see. Thanks for ruining the spoof genre Date Movie.

Can I be real? Like really, really real? Spoof was once one of my favorite genres.

Hot Shots, Naked Gun, Airplane, Scary Movie, Loaded Weapon 1, Not Another Teen Movie. A classic list of films and franchises. And now the future for the genre looks bleaker than the prospects of seeing a new episode of The Office next month.

Date Movie and Epic Movie are two of the Worst Movies you could ever see. And now the people that brought you that crap bring you another piece of crap.

A movie that stars Carmen Electra should not be released in theaters. Doesn't she realize that she was in Scary Movie as a joke on herself? Not because they thought she was a comedic genius.

Another star of this movie? Kevin Sorbo. I guess you can go from doing not 1 but 2 straight-to-dvd sequels of Walking Tall and find yourself on the big screen shortly thereafter. Just as long as you get some braindead writers to pen a spoof on action movies in less than 2 weeks and then some idiot producers to cast it knowing that flocks of stoner teens won't care who the star of the movie is because they'll laugh at anything.

The talented need not apply.

Somebody from these movies please apologize to David Zucker (writer of Airplane, Naked Gun movies, High School High) and the Wayans family (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Don't Drink Your Juice in the Hood, Scary Movies) for this dispicable display of comedy retardedness.

I hope these unoriginal and unfunny losers will leave Hollywood or hopefully the writers strike will give these dummies time to think of a funny punchline.

Expectation level: Are you kidding me?

Reviews

Lets take a look at a couple of films I've seen recently that you still have a chance to see in the theaters: Ratings on a 10 point scale


Cloverfield - Rating: 7.5

Let me just break it down for you: a monster attacks New York.

In case you were wondering what the mystery of the film was, there it is.

But don't be mistaken, this isn't Godzilla.

This isn't even about the monster. This is about watching New York fall apart while a guy (Michael Stahl-David) goes back into the heart of the madness to save his friend and love interest (Odette Yustman.)

Along the way come some of his friends and his brother, but mainly its about having a point-of-view shot of an action-horror-disaster flick that you don't normally see. The point being to try and bring you into the same situation the characters are going through.

I'd have to say that the director (Matt Reeves) is quite successful at doing this and its probably the most successful part of the movie. At times you do get chills because buildings are falling and people are screaming and you are hiding out in a convenience store as "something" goes by.

The acting was surprisingly good and you never get the feeling that this is an "independent" film in the same way you did while watching The Blair Witch Project. This feels real.

The biggest knock on the film is probably the script, although its probably the easiest thing to knock about this movie since it's supposed to have the feeling that its "unscripted."

You may, and probably will, walk out of the theater disappointed. In most films with a monster or a disaster you'll find out why it happened and how it ended. You get some resolution, but its not where you would most expect it because like I said earlier this isn't about the monster.

In the future I expect good things for the lead actor (Stahl-David) and supporting actress Lizzie Caplan, who plays Marlena, one of the survivors who brings some much-needed comic relief.

Overall, I would recommend Cloverfield, but just go into it with proper expectations. This is the type of movie you should throw yourself into and try and just go along with it and have fun. Don't think about the logistical possibilities of whats possible or not possible (for christs sake there are monsters) and don't expect to get all your questions answered. Just sit back and watch and let the movie do the rest.


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Juno - Rating: 8.0

The trendy film of the year that you probably have seen already anyway is coming fresh off the heels of a Best Picture nomination for an Oscar. Not too shabby, but probably the longest shot to win this year.

But its not because Juno isn't a good movie. It definitely is.

However, every year Oscar nominates a fan favorite comedy for best picture and pretty much every year it fails miserably at the awards show. Maybe Juno will have luck this year though since there might not be an awards show.

Juno stars breakthrough actress Ellen Page, although some of you may have first seen her breakthrough in 2006 in the movie Hard Candy where she played a bitchy and scary little teenager. Certainly the name Ellen Page won't go unnoticed anymore.

Page fit in perfectly with the brand of humor we've grown accustomed to from Michael Cera and company, and it almost felt like this was a role she had played 1000 times before. Her nomination for top actress was certainly warranted, and is more likely than the picture taking top prize.

The award most likely to be won by Juno is best original screenplay for first time writer Diablo Cody, a 29-year-old female and former stripper. Whats the Academy to do? Give the Best Screenplay award once again to the quirkiest and funniest screenplay (Little Miss Sunshine, Sideways) or shun the unique writer at a time when it may be better to play it safe and go old school because of the ongoing writers strike?

I still think Juno is probably the early favorite in that category.

Back the film at hand though. On top of loving Ellen Page and seeing a star rise, I was actually not turned off by Jennifer Garners acting (which I usually am) despite playing a pretty unlikeable character. I also am growing more and more to like Jason Bateman and it appears that it only takes 20-25 years for us to forget about the characters you played on TV. I was sold on Jason Bateman the moment I saw him as Pepper Brooks in Dodgeball.

I also can't say enough about JK Simmons who plays the role of Junos dad. How much longer can this guy steal the show and yet remain out of the spotlight?

If you haven't seen Juno yet, I would recommend it for sure. But if you have to wait for DVD, thats cool too. But its a definite must-see.